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The Anxious Person's Guide to Non-Monogamy by Lola Phoenix

The Anxious Person's Guide to Non-Monogamy by Lola Phoenix - Main image
$12.2 $20 In stock

'Invaluable' RACHEL KRAMER BUSSEL
'Refreshingly honest, comprehensive and realistic' MEG-JOHN BARKER

In this all-you-need-to-know guide to exploring non-monogamy, polyamory and open relationships, Lola draws upon their years of experience in giving advice and being non-monogamous to provide guidance for every stage of your journey, helping you to prioritise your mental health and well being along the way.

Beginning with advice on starting out - such as finding your anchor, figuring out your personal reasons for pursuing non-monogamy, challenging your fears and practicing self-compassion - the book proceeds to cover the emotional aspects of non-monogamous relationships, including dealing with jealousy and judgement, managing anxiety and maintaining independence, as well as practical elements such as scheduling your time, negotiating boundaries and managing your expectations, all accompanied with activities for further exploration.
Whether you are new to non-monogamy, or have been non-monogamous for years, this insightful and empowering book will provide you with the emotional tools you will need to live a happy non-monogamous life.

Paperback. 208 Pages.

About The Author

Lola Phoenix runs the popular weekly relationship advice column and podcast, Non-Monogamy Help, and has been non-monogamous for over a decade. Their writing has appeared in Medium, Huffington Post, Pink News, Gay Star News, The Independent, and Everyday Feminism. They often give talks and presentations on relationships and LGBTQIA+ issues and have been interviewed for Attitude, Buzzfeed and The Independent, as well as podcasts such as Multiamory and the Breakup Monologues. They are the author of The Anxious Person's Guide to Non-Monogamy, and The Non-Monogamy Journal, and are based in Stockholm, Sweden.

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Customer Reviews (4.6 / 5 · 5 reviews)

Lucy Y. ★★★★★

I picked this up after years of assuming non-monogamy just wasn't for anxious people like me, and the "what if I..." chapter alone made me feel less alone. It's honest about the messy parts without being preachy, which I appreciated way more than the glossier poly books I've tried.

Lily ★★★★★

The chapters on jealousy and "what if I'm doing this wrong?" actually made me put the book down to breathe a few times—it’s that on-point. I’ve already dog-eared half the pages for the realistic, step-by-step communication scripts.

Julian ★★★★★

As someone whose brain defaults to worst-case scenarios, I appreciated how this guide doesn't just cheerlead—it actually walks through practical scripts and the messy, real emotional fallout without judgment. The chapter on jealousy alone was worth the price, and it reads like a friend explaining th